This life isn’t glamorous, but it’s ours.
I didn’t ask for drama this Halloween. I wasn’t trying to start anything. I just needed to park close enough to my house to carry a sleeping toddler and two bags of groceries without breaking my back.
But apparently, that was enough to trigger my neighbor, Derek, into full-blown holiday warfare.
The eggs were just the beginning.
Derek lives two doors down. He’s a man in his 40s with too much time and too many decorations. At first, I thought his displays were sweet — extravagant, maybe, but festive. Derek was the kind of guy who brought cheer to the block.
But over the years, it stopped being fun. Now it feels like his house is auditioning for a movie every other month.
Christmas? He blasts music through outdoor speakers and uses fake snow machines like he’s recreating a Hallmark set. Valentine’s Day? The bushes are wrapped in red garlands, and he swaps his porch lights for pink bulbs. The Fourth of July is a literal explosion; our windows rattle like we live inside a firework.
And Halloween? Oh, that’s Derek’s Super Bowl.
The kids love it, of course. Every October, they press their faces to the living room window to watch him set it up.
“Look! He’s putting up the witch with the glowing eyes!” Max shouts. “And the skellytons.”
“Skeletons, baby,” I always correct him with a chuckle.
Even Noah, my three-year-old, squeals when the fog machines kick in. And I’ll admit, there’s a strange kind of magic to it — if you’re not the one living next to it.