My dad died three weeks ago.
Even now, writing those words feels wrong, like I am describing somebody else’s life instead of my own. He was only gone in the physical sense.
In every other way, he was still everywhere.
In my hands, when I reached for a wrench. In the smell of motor oil that clung to my old jackets. And in the part of me that still expected my phone to light up with one of his short texts asking if I could come by and help him in the garage.
I am 28, and for as long as I can remember, my dad was my hero.
He was not perfect. He could be stubborn, quiet, and so set in his ways that it could drive you crazy. But he was steady. He was the kind of man who showed love by being there, by teaching, and by fixing what he could with his own two hands.
And the thing he loved most in the world, besides me, was his cherry-red 1968 Ford Mustang.
We spent years working on that car together.
That Mustang was never just a car to us. It was Saturday mornings and scraped knuckles. It was burgers wrapped in foil, eaten in the garage, because we did not want to stop while we were in the middle of something.
It was him teaching me patience when I was a teenager who wanted every repair done in five minutes. It was our bond, built piece by piece under fluorescent lights with old rock playing in the background.
Then there was Brenda.
Brenda was 45, my dad’s wife of just 14 months, and from the start, something about her felt polished in a way that never settled right with me. She knew how to smile at the right time, how to touch my father’s arm when people were watching, and how to sound warm without ever really being warm.
I tried, for my dad’s sake. I was polite. I kept my doubts to myself. He looked happy, or at least he looked like he wanted to be.
Then he got sick.
Pancreatic cancer. Sudden, brutal, and far too fast.

